The Power of Caffeine

Half an hour ago I was saying goodnight. My eyes dreary as I prepared to rest for the night. Then I drank some Coca Cola. Not much; a simple 330ml aluminium can of caramel, water and E numbers. Now I feel strangely alive. I could probably type out a whole essay about how amazing this is. But I'm a bit too hyper to do that right now.

But what I will say is that now I feel dirty. Coke is like fire. A worst enemy and best friend. I've been trying to stay off the stuff, and doing quite well at it. You can quite easily guess what my favourite drink is when 6 litres of apple juice have disappeared from the pantry in just 5 days. And to be frankly honest the taste of the sweet stuff (Coke) physically sickens me. I can actually feel my teeth melting away as I type. A thick layer of plaque always appears after the first gulp. I can feel it... digging away at my toothy pegs.

That's a bad thing, as my dental health is actually very good considering how little I visit a dentist. I only have a problem with this one tooth that's growing so fast that the ones around it can't do so as much.

Returning to the topic at hand; Coca Cola isn't all that tasty. The sugar-y taste of it all makes my stomach turn and - for me at least - it always seems overly bitter. Another common side effect is that I also seem to sweat a lot more, without any particular reason.

This is where my hippy side is going to take centre stage, so can readers of a nervous disposition please stand back. The Coca Cola Company, like all other major corporations (Mobil Exxon, Microsoft and the rest) are all big capitalist pigs. And their cheap products have poisoned my morals. Now I have to go and be cleansed in a pool of virgin tears or something. And that'll take some time to set up. DAMN YOU CAPITALISM!!!

We should try and reincarnate Lenin or something and crush the capitalist biache.