Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

Mummy, why is my messiah eating my brains?

Zombie Jesus Day! The one day of the year when the Christians around this godforsaken planet celebrate the death ad resurrection of one man, one man called Jesus H. Christ!

Even people who don't read Bible passages for a living should know the story of how Mr Christ was brutally murdered, only to have risen - drooling and with arm slightly loose - out of his caven tomb and promptly ate the brains of his murderers. What? You think Judas committed suicide? He made a flipping fortune! Why would he?! No, he was actually revenged by Jesus, followed by the occasional Roman guard. It took a bit longer to get to evil overlord Pontius Pilate. But he managed to do it after a good many years.

From there it all fades into obscurity. But many myths say that every Zombie Jesus day, he mysteriously appears and eats the brains of unsuspecting victims. These deaths are usually thrown off by police as incidents involving chainsaws or witch craft. But they are true... and he's coming for you...

And so I leave you with what has to be the best Bible verse ever, Matthew 7:3.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"